We have heard from sources who are reliable but not authorized to speak on behalf of anyone, and they tell us that General Mark Milley has graciously accepted a new appointment to be the communications director for the Baptist Hospital located in Gaza. The announcement came as a total surprise and was described by the local Hamas leaders as “That’s what I call shock and awe. He said that he would let us know if Israel was planning an attack against us.”
Milley will begin his new assignment ASAP, as he awaits an opening in the gates to the entry of Gaza. He will arrive unarmed, and escorted to his new location, to be outfitted with the appropriate headgear, weapons, and the appropriate set of talking points, after which he will undergo 3 days of brainwashing in order to remove any allegiances and fond memories of the USA.