Washington, DC — Later today, President Joe Biden will announce his latest appointment, using even more diversity. Biden’s spoxperson says that “my boss is getting the hang of this diversity and czar-ship thing, so there may be more announcements soon.”
We have learned that the President will appoint Mason “Shiftless” Shonk, as the new Ministry of Distractions czar. Shonk has a very diversified background in working in this area. He will utilize his talents and gifts that were important when he was working as a fire-eating, trapeze swinging, tightrope walking sword swallowing juggler.
We’re awaiting confirmation of his salary for this new position.