Washington, DC — Speaker Pelosi along with Senator Schumer, announced that they were now actively recruiting a new criminal class for the upcoming election in 2022, as well as 2024. Due to the fact that many have already seen the writing on the wall, and decided to get out before facing a humiliating defeat. Speaker Pelosi was unavailable for comment, but Senator Schumer and Representative Nadler wrestled for face time with the big 3 TV networks. Schumer won that battle because Nadler seemed to just run out of gas.
Schumer explained to the reporter: “So many of our guys are leaving so we have to replace these criminal elements with more hardened ones. I mean, we’ve tried to impeach Trump a couple of times, tried to overthrow the government a few times, these fake hearings and investigations…man, we need to step up our game. So yea, we need some hardcore people at this junction. And it probably wouldn’t hurt to get rid of President (10% for the Big Guy) Biden and that Harris woman. If we don’t do it this time, we’re screwed six ways from Sunday.”