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President Biden gives encouraging word about Thanksgiving

Claims fuel will be slightly higher and butterball turkeys may be extinct

by Noah
in Politics
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At an impromptu hasty gathering by the president today, someone from the press asked if Biden had any thoughts on the cost of Thanksgiving this year since the price of the 4th of July was higher than last year. Of course, this caused a collective moan from the president’s handlers because they had no clue what the president would say. To be honest, the president didn’t have a clue what he would say either.

Anyway, the exact question was, “Mr. President, will the traditional Thanksgiving holiday meal also be a victim of inflation, as was the 4th of July?”

President Biden: “Well, that question might be a little misleading. Heh, my answer might be a little misleading, but what I can tell you is, that fuel prices are getting too low for my liking. I want to see them pushing way above $5 per gallon. And as for the turkeys, I’ve heard there are turkey seekers gatherers entering our country and have placed bounties on turkeys in order to jack the prices up and cause the turkeys to be extinct. The White House is trying to buy up a lot of these turkeys before the season in order to make a little more money for my family Americans.”

“We intend to send an envoy to Ukraine, led by Vice-President Harris to deliver 1M butterball turkeys. We aren’t sure if they will be air-dropped or delivered on pallets. We’ll let you guys know when we decide.”

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