An undisclosed South Carolina town, as of this writing, is under advisement from the local Board of Elections and the Planning and Mapping Department, to adjust the boundaries just before the election.
Since all the cemeteries and graveyards are already redrawn and annexed, the powers that be feel that due to the consequences of this particular election, more drastic changes are needed.
After having met for over 4 hours, BOE Chairman Edgar “Bugsy” Lewis and Planning and Mapping Director Jason “Fatboy” Tullis, have agreed to redistrict the junkyard sections that encompass old Hwy 141, on the south side of town. Details are still sketchy, but from the information that we have, we can bring this much information to our readers:
A. All vehicles in the junkyard will have their VIN numbers located and after a thorough search of ownership, the last registered owner will be registered as a local county Democrat.
B. Vehicles in the junkyard that are still adorned with their license tags will allow the owner of the tag, and all family members to be registered as a local county Democrat.
C. All recent automobiles that are placed in the junkyard between today and election day, will be registered to someone who is on the most current obituary pages of the local newspaper.
We will have more information as it becomes available.