Conway, SC – The people that were in attendance at Friendly Baptist Church this past Sunday evening, were treated to a rare message, brought by Pastor Buddy “Munch” Bonner. Approximately 45 minutes before the service started, the Fellowship Committee sponsored a brief social, with snacks and soft drinks provided by some neighbors that were new to the community. They were very nice folks, but as one could tell by their informal attire (jeans, do-rags, long hair) that they weren’t really old-time residents and members of the church. The couple brought brownies and punch to the social, and when Pastor Buddy heard that they had brownies, he made a beeline for them. Where most preachers prefer chicken, Pastor Buddy is into brownies. And evidently, their punch was supreme, as it was called Purple Jesus, and the man of the cloth, drank in abundance, as he munched on about 3 brownies.
After the welcome, announcements, singing, and the receiving of the offering, it was time for Pastor Bonner to bring his message. It was about little David slaying the giant, Goliath. Immediately after the Pastor finished reading his scripture, he began to giggle a little bit, leaned on his podium, struck a pause with his index finger pointed outward, as he exclaimed: “All the haters out there were taunting David, because they thought Goliath would surely put a curb stomping on that little fellow. No, Little David grabbed him a pile of quarry rocks, laying there on the ground beside his picker stick, grabbed up his double-barreled souped-up slingshot, and started throwing shade at the giant.”
The church folks really snapped to attention, and then the preacher began to walk around, in a strut, tucking his hand and thumbs under his arms, clucking like a chicken, shouting at the giant, as if the giant was in the room. The preacher would laugh and then scream, and then scream and then laugh. He kept it up for several minutes, just strutting around the stage and down the steps and up and down the aisles. Finally, the deacons became concerned and decided to confront the pastor.
At that instant, the pastor bellowed out, “David put a beat down on that big boy. He whupped him bad. And it goes to show you can whup a giant too if you just stay obstinate with the Lord. Now, I ain’t got much of an education, but I know that God demands obstinance, and if we’ve learned anything tonight, it’s that David had that.”
We’ll bring more information when we find out the pastor’s condition when he is released from the hospital.
