A long, lost relative of the original King James, who had the KJV Bible written and authorized as a tribute to himself, rather than God, has come forth and stated that he would rewrite the KJV in accordance with the culture in which we live today. This descendant, who goes by the name of Sebastian Reginald, who answers to the name of “Reggie”, is a fourth cousin of King James. Reggie breaks some new ground, by stating that his long, lost cousin was never married because he was gay. Reggie also claims that James was no Christian either, and often acted as if James himself were God. So, with this information now known, Reggie decided that it’s time he took it upon himself to come up with a more progressive model of the KJV, in honor of his beloved fourth cousin!
There will be a revision of the Old Testament, especially the Ten Commandments, and also the story of Adam and Eve. It will be Alexis and Eve, and they will live in a commune, rather than in some fictitious setting in some garden in a jungle somewhere. And that serpent, well, it got all cozy with the female couple, and impregnated them both with bad seed. And their son, he became President of the USA, and he too, was gay, but not openly. It became unlawful for people to proclaim any negativity or disagreement towards these people, especially the seed of Alexis and Eve. He was merely a spoiled momma’s boy..X 2. There were no laws outlawing murdering those who did not believe the same as these two women. Men, women, boys and girls, all bowed to them, as they proclaimed they were most holy. They also claimed that the God of the original Bible was a myth, and that there was no heaven or hell.
All good people go to a land of leisure, and all bad people go to a pit of fire, that will consume them until there is nothing but ashes. Moral people will be mocked, saith the new bible. Moral people will die, violent deaths, says the new bible. No one will oppose the new order and the new laws, saith the new bible. And the news media will fall in line, in full support. For once, the multitudes of news reporters and TV media, will declare that this bible is the one truth everyone has been waiting for. A celebration will begin, and it will appear to be a perpetual time of partying, until the rocks and the boulders, from high on the mountain tops begin to cry out…and then there will be even more multitudes, screaming for the rocks to crush them, and put them out of their misery.
And the rocks will oblige.
