Clarkson, NY — Herbert Bonner, a local man who is said to be a devout Christian, decided to surprise his wife on their 30th wedding anniversary. Herbert decided to take his beloved, Carla, to Lydia’s Diner for an exotic evening of fine food, a little wine, and then back home for some old-fashioned courting. Bonner told us, after his surgery, and he had rested for a while, that the last thing he could remember was reading from his bible to his wife, from the Song of Solomon. He thinks it was around the 4th Chapter that the wheels ran off of his evening with Ms. Carla.
Mr. Bonner’s wife, Carla, told us that after their dinner, and a couple of glasses of wine, they returned home. Both of them changed into something more comfortable, and Herbert decided to sit on the sofa and asked that Carla lie with her head in his lap, as he read from the Song of Solomon. Carla admitted right off, that the story Herbert was reading was really setting the mood for the rest of the evening. She couldn’t believe how romantic Herbert had become. It was like a dream come true.
Then, out of the blue, when he began to read Chapter 4, Carla says that she could not help herself, and she went ballistic. The last thing she remembers is dialing 911 because Herbert was laid out on the floor, blood pouring from a head wound as he was curled up like a baby. He was unresponsive for a minute or two. Finally, the EMS came and took him away to the hospital.
Back in his room at the hospital, Herbert says he didn’t realize that Chapter 4 was so much different than the King James Version. However, he said he has learned his lesson. No more worldly translations for him. He’s a die-hard King James Version only. Rubbing his head, he exclaimed that it was just not worth it.
[Ed: Chapter 4 begins with Song of Solomon 4 The Message (MSG)
4 1-5 You’re so beautiful, my darling,
so beautiful, and your dove eyes are veiled
By your hair as it flows and shimmers like a flock of goats in the distance streaming down a hillside in the sunshine.
Your smile is generous and full—
expressive and strong and clean.
Your lips are jewel red,
your mouth elegant and inviting,
your veiled cheeks soft and radiant.
The smooth, lithe lines of your neck
command notice—all heads turn in awe and admiration!
Your breasts are like fawns,
twins of a gazelle, grazing among the first spring flowers.