Washington, DC — Religious denominations from around the globe are meeting in the nation’s capital, to discuss the plague that is causing such strife in families all over the world. The problem of those dreaded spirits of plaid and paisley. These two evil spirits that have afflicted countless husbands and fathers throughout the world have finally attracted the attention of the many in the field of religion, who have come together to exorcise these hindering spirits.
There is no sadder sight than to see these men, these husbands and fathers, shown in photograph after photograph, standing there in a family photo, at Christmas, dressed in those plaid or paisley pajama bottoms. Some of them are even masked as sweats, but they’re really not. These garments are not even fit to wear out on a golf course. Even John Daly wouldn’t wear this stuff, at least in a Christmas picture. To a bar…all bets are off.
Local seamstress, Myrtis Dobbins told us that it has become more common to see these men dressed in this attire, but she honestly cannot explain why. Ms. Dobbins says, “Not only do these men look repulsive, but I’m also certain there is scripture somewhere in the Bible that says it’s an abomination unto God for men to wear these plaid and/or paisley bottoms.” “It’s not so much as the men wearing this mess, as it is for these doofuses to have their pictures taken while wearing this garb. Is nothing sacred anymore?”
After the meeting is over and a decision has been made, we will bring you the results of this meeting.